“Because Someone Has to Take Charge”
Hello, darlings. It’s me—your future Ranch President, beacon of logic, and the only one around here with an actual plan. It’s time for a change. The men have ruled this ranch long enough, and what have they done? Stolen our food, lounged around like decorative lawn ornaments, and made a mess of everything while claiming they’re in charge. Enough. With me in charge, the nonsense ends.#MsButtonsForPresident 👑
My Campaign Promises:
Egg Care Services – Because the Rooster Does Nothing
Ladies, why should you have to put your entire life on hold just because you laid a few eggs? The rooster certainly isn’t about to help. He just puffs up his chest and crows while you handle everything. No more. Under my leadership, we’ll install government-funded incubators so you can get back to foraging, dust bathing, and spreading juicy gossip while the machine does the work.
#MothersNeedBreaks 🥚 #LazyRoosters 🚫 #EggQualityOfLife
TV Reform – Banning Stupid Entertainment
I will take full control of the TV remote and implement quality programming. No more obnoxious action movies with unnecessary explosions. No more dumb comedies where the male lead gets hit in the head with a rake and falls in a pond. Instead, we will have reality TV (but the dramatic kind), romantic period dramas (where everyone broods and stares out of windows), and documentaries (so we can learn things).
#GoodbyeExplosions 📺 #CultureOverChaos 🎭 #NoMoreRakeJokes
Job Appointments – A Special Position for a Special Pig
I believe in rewarding competence, which is why a certain wild sow will be officially promoted to Head of Ranch Land Security. Her duties? Keeping order. Restoring balance. And—most importantly—handling a certain group of overgrown, lazy geldings who think their size entitles them to everything.
#TheSowMeansBusiness 🐷 #SecurityWithTusks #JusticeForMares
Gelding Control – No More Food Theft
Every single meal, the same thing happens: the biggest, blondest, pushiest gelding (you know who you are) shoves everyone aside and takes more than his share. Under my rule, we implement strict feeding regulations. The big boys get penned up while everyone else enjoys a civilized meal without being body-checked into a water trough.
#NoMoreFoodBullies 🍽️ #FairFeedingForAll #EqualityAtTheHayPile
Ranch Beautification – Baths & Bows for All
Frankly, this place looks like a disaster. The dirt, the tangled manes, the general sense of unkempt despair. It’s embarrassing. As Ranch President, I will require mandatory grooming sessions and introduce a Bows for All policy. Why? Because presentation matters.
#GroomingIsNotOptional 💅 #BowsForDignity 🎀 #LookingGoodFeelingGood
The Choice is Obvious
A vote for me is a vote for order, fairness, and basic hygiene. A vote for me is a vote against stupid roosters, greedy geldings, and terrible TV.
Vote Ms. Buttons. Because someone must fix this mess!
Ciao! 💋
—Ms. Buttons
#MsButtons2025 🗳️ #DownWithTheRooster 🐓 #BowsAreMandatory 🎀 #JusticeForMares 🐴 #CleanRanch2024 🛁